We all are mentors to someone and we all want to find a mentor.
I bet you have given someone else a nugget of wisdom without even knowing. And I know for sure you've been offered wisdom by other women. Not sure whether it was welcomed or if you rejected it, but we've all had women tell us what they think about our lives and situations.
Who do you look to for advice and wisdom?
Most of us have some sort of group we belong to, Maybe it's a church, a parent organization for school or an extracurricular activity you kids are involved in. Maybe you seek out friends we've known for years or the popular experts on a subject. Or maybe you scan the Internet and read whatever Google decides is relevant.
There's so many voices and options that it can feel hard to know what influencers and mentors to give ear to. When I'm looking for a mentor my baseline is usually humility and wisdom. Sounds obvious right? But it's easy to overlook those qualities when so many charismatic people who are willing to lead vie for our attention.
Not all leaders are seeking followers
Often times we fall into the knee-jerk mentality. We see a mentor who has a following, who is popular and assume they must have something to say worth listening to. Sometimes that's the case, but often times it's not. We have a culture that celebrates those who make a name for themselves. But in my experience, the women who have given me the most are those who have never written a book, created an online course or sought any of the limelight.
Quietly they disciple those around them, those who have the humility to listen and will not take easy offense. Their faithful contribution goes largely unnoticed. Their names appear in the acknowledgements section of books. Their advice is given in counseling sessions, kitchens and during car rides.
The mentors I follow give solicited advice
I've had my fair share of unsolicited advice from strangers who haven't earned the right to be trusted. Sometimes they are right and I've taken to heart their words, but most of the time it's so random it's almost funny, except that I'm annoyed.
But these precious and silent leaders can be found. They are the women whose lives reflect the life you want. They aren't necessarily promoting themselves as sages or experts. They are fellow women, living real lives and offering of themselves whenever asked. It's beautiful and challenging to create spaces with them.
It's worth the search
What kind of woman do you seek out when you're having trouble? What areas are you in need and looking for someone to guide you? Believe me, there's a mentor out there for you,
Don't give up too quickly! Look in unexpected places and don't overlook the women who don't look like you. Once you find them your reward will be their wisdom. It will pour forth effortlessly if you take the time to ask good questions and listen with a humble heart.
Good mentors may be hard to find among all the loud voices, but I promise you, I've found several and so can you!